Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
