I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
