somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize