I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
