This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
