I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
