My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
