new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
time to smoke my breakfast
how do flat chested girls get laid?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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