I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
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His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
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I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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