Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm just crazy horny about you
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
