i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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