Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We have so much sex to catch up on
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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