I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
