So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
