you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
