I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
