dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Don't make out with my wife yet
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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