So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
