After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
