I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
