I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
