I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
do herpes really smell.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
