tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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