Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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