I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
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