I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
