I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
