Yo dont text me then not text me
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
