I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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