Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You ate ashes out of my bong
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
