you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
