They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
