when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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