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So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
