So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
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I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
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And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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