Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
