I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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