Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...