Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
