just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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