I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
