I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
