Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
