you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
