At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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