gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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