I just threw up on my dentist
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
