I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
