Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
