I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
