I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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