I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize