guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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