We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
