There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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