then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
