Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
