i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
