belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
More tranny stories later!
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
