I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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