I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
