im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
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He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
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FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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