ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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