thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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