It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
